Friday, June 29, 2007

"Our strength is the rule of law."

Tie:: It's almost like he knows I like this with stripes.
Segue:: "Hound Dog" by Elvis Presley.
Days Since Mission Accomplished:: 1,521
Worst Person: Satan's sweetheart, Ann Coulter, not really for what she said but the, uh, Rovian ratings math she used and the laughable suggestion that she'll pass up the chance to whip out the little black dress and make demon eyes at Chris Matthews again. Uh, media whore says "What?"(Oh, if that doesn't work, you could always get leather pants and rag on ESPN...I hear one of their guys is *really* into that.)

Lots and lots of news tonight...that'll teach me to fall behind on my recaps.But I'm hanging in here on Friday night to give you my best one-fingered summary.

5.Democrats in both the Senate and the House write anti-war legislation to shift our presence in Iraq to a non-combat role within short-term deadlines. Speaker Pelosi says they have "the support of the American people," so demonization won't hold them back this time. While I'm one of the "disaffected base" who may be won back by a show of Dem force, Jonathan Alter and this piece in the Washington Post point out just how much President Bush's fortunes have changed.

5b. Lieutenant Commander Richard Swift joins Keith to discuss the recent court decision requiring court trials for Guantanamo detainees.

4. Larry Johnson and Keith discuss the successful foiling of a rather inept "yuppie terrorist" bomb plot in London and why so many media outlets and government agencies prefer to constantly exist at "Threat Level Midnight" rather than report the whole story(an EMS worker spotted and reported a smoking...-literally- silver Mercedes.)

4b. Excellent expose, from a media standpoint, at least, on why Rupert Murdoch is even more dangerous than this guy. Although I think if Keith takes him on, his typing hand is safe(thinks) Um. Well, we know he's not your father, Mr. Olbermann. Be careful if he asks you to Cloud City...promise?(This metaphor doesn't're too smartmouthed...and, yeah, I'm gonna say it, hot, to be anybody but Han Solo. We love you. And you know it.

Oddball: Happy Birthday, Richard Lewis! That scene in Anything But Love where he convinces Jamie Lee Curtis to do stupid things at the Passover seder is still one of the funniest moments of TV I've ever seen. Seriously. It's got to be about fifteen years old and I still laugh when I think about it. Great thanks, sir.

3. People are waiting on their IPhones, including the mayor of Philadelphia. I don't get it (as if my broken links make that a big surprise.) Personally, I think if getting the same joke twenty-seven times or looking at photos of wet celebrities from the privacy of our homes was good enough for those who came before us, it's good enough for me. And nobody is gonna give me $600 to break links from an unspecified location. Are you?

2. Keeping Tabs:
Over the holidays, when I'm thinking I come from the nuttiest white folks in the world, I will,for once, have a positive thought for Britney Spears.Putting a restraining order on your mom is pretty schadenfreude-i-riffic, and not as whiny and gynecological as the junk that Paris Hilton does.

1.I literally did not understand the number one story this evening, and I'm not translating from the Kossack here, as in "I don't understand how Keith can write those beautiful Comments and then do all that fluffy cr--uh, stuff. People are dying! " No, I literally mean "Huh?!" There were pictures of puppies, Giuliani, Romney, a setter in a box, and Mo Rocca's frantic patter, but something important failed to land, humor-wise.
That's the way it was.(Aw, Dailykos, I tease because I love, right?)

The Big Show, Come on Down!

After a brief discussion about the Lakers and the NBA Draft, Dan confirms reports that he has been contacted by the Price is Right to audition to replace Bob Barker.

Dan is flattered, and is intrigued by the idea of working with Barker's Beauties. If Bob got in trouble at times with the beauties, would kind of trouble can Dan get into?

Keith, as usual, plays the role as topper, and says that while he was still a sportscaster in LA, he was asked to audition for the game show "Your Face or Mine", which looks like it was never made in the U.S. (But was in the UK for a while.)

Dan is honored that they asked him, but he hasn't auditioned yet. I doubt he will, as when he mentions the possibility of it the rest of the show, he sounds like he's in his sarcastic voice. What do you all think? Could Dan really leave ESPN for the Price is Right?

In a hopefully unrelated note, Dan says there will be a big announcement on Tuesday at 2 p.m. ET that will change lives. My prediction: The Big Show will be rebroadcast on ESPN on days Dan is NYC with Keith. Obviously, the announcement has to do with both Dan and Keith since they it comes during the Big Show. Other possibilities: Expanded Big Show hours? Or god forbid, less Big Show?

Dan jokes about being a co-hostess of The View. Keith calls Elizabeth Hasselbeck squeaky annoying. Dan then raises the possibility of Rosie O'Donnell coming to MSNBC. Keith says a Rosie show would make him look conservative.

Dan and Keith mention it's the 10th anniversary of their last Sportscenter on ESPN. Keith says his strongest memory of that was during the break before the farewell, when the producer asks Keith to shorten it to 5 seconds for a tennis score. Keith said no, and thanked a lot of people instead.

Dan: Greg Oden, the No. 1 pick of last night's NBA Draft, looks older than LeBron James.
Keith: Greg Oden looks older than Robert Parrish.

Dan lifted the seat cushion on Letterman the other night because of confetti that fell before the show.

Keith thinks 3,000 hits by Craig Biggio will be more impressive than Frank Thomas' 500 home runs, because the steroid era will diminish everyone's accomplishments. Keith points to Dale Murphy and Andre Dawson as examples if players not getting into the Hall of Fame because of not getting to milestones like 500 homers or 3,000 hits.

Greg Oden joins the Big Show in the final segment. Oden says Joakim Noah's outfit works for him. I guess Oden's right, because Noah is crazy and so is that outfit. Oden woke up about two hours ago. (It's 2:50 pm ET, and I assume he's still somewhere in that time zone, since the draft was in New York. I am by no means a morning person, but isn't a 1pm wakeup time kind of late?)

Dan and Keith then discuss franchises that were/are Mickey Mouse organizations. Keith brings up the Clippers, Lions, and the original Mets, Dan suggests Buccaneers, Cardinals, Yankees??? and Indians. All fit except for the Yankees, who may fit on this list soon if they keep having seasons like this one.

Watch Countdown tonight. Dan guarantees you'll laugh, cry, and may throw something at the screen.