Wednesday, July 4, 2007

EDITED 7/6, 1:04pm: Eight millionth verse, same as the first -

EDITED 7/6, 1:04pm: Eight millionth verse, same as the first - no Dan again today, folks. He'll be back live from the All Star Game on Monday -- we'll see what he has to say then.

Edited 7/5, 1:55pm: Dan isn't on the air again today. No news is... no news. Let the conspiracy theories begin!

When in the Course of internet events it becomes necessary for one group of bloggers to dissolve the... Oh, never mind.

We're on vacation, or what's left of it. The charming and dedicated Stef will bring you Dan's Big Announcement™ as it happens, but beyond that we're outta here until Monday. When we'll have our own big announcement. Oh, the timing of it all!

Comments are turned off for now. They will return for a while after The Announcement™ for your "Oh no!" "HA!" and "I knew it!" needs.

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Special Comment -- Resign

Tie: Baby Blue, I think. Correct me if I got it wrong.
Worst Person in the World: William Kristol, who thinks people who disagree with Bush's commutation of Scooter Libby are ridiculous. Which means the majority of Americans are ridiculous.

I wonder how tonight's Special Comment will go over with the masses. He's spoken out aggressively against President Bush and his administration before, but tonight, Keith took it to the next level.

Here's a link to the official text and video. If you happened to miss Countdown, check it out.

He called for Bush and Cheney to resign, saying it's the most patriotic thing for them to do. He compared Bush commuting Scooter Libby's sentence to Richard Nixon's firing of Watergate prosecutor Archibald Cox during the Saturday Night Massacre.

Keith said that the President broke a sacred trust: "That the president for whom so many did not vote, can in turn suspend his political self long enough, and for matters imperative enough, to conduct himself solely for the benefit of the entire Republic," and later added that the President acted as the President of the Republican Party, not the President of the U.S.

He closed like he started, referencing John Wayne's quote: "I didn't vote for him, but he's my President, and I hope he does a good job." Keith says we at least deserve a president who fits that description.

As for the rest of the show, almost all of it had to do with Scooter Libby. Bush finally spoke out about it and didn't sound very reassuring. The press, for once, asked Tony Snow tons of tough questions about it and he said any jail time would be inappropriate.

Richard Wolffe said this was just a case of the decider in action. David Shuster reminds us that lies under oath are crimes. Shuster says documents show Valerie Plame was indeed covert, even if Libby's defenders say differently.

It's sad when we need Keith and David Shuster to remind us that obstruction of justice is a serious crime. No really, it is.

Jonathan Turley comes on to discuss Commute vs. Pardon. Basically, if Bush had given Libby a full pardon, there's a possible interpretation of the law that may have prevented Libby to plead the Fifth Amendment. As governor, Bush granted fewer pardons than any Texas governor since the 1940s and wrote in his autobiography "I don't believe my role is to replace the verdict of a jury with my own." Turley says that the presidential powers were originally given with the assumption that Congress would check the president. Oops.

The New York Times reports
that Al Gore received an advanced copy of The Sopranos finale. This, of course, made Rudy Giuliani upset, since he didn't get one.

Tom Cruise not being allowed to film on a memorial site in Germany led to the discovery of another Olbermann -- a spokesman for the Finance Ministry. Keith and Stefan don't look different enough side by side where being related is out of the question.

Have a happy July 4th, everyone.

Dan Patrick is a terrible man.

Ok! Bob Valvano, filling in for Dan, just said we'd find out what Dan's announcement was "sometime later this week."

We hope all is well with Dan, and think perhaps, at this point, that The Announcement is about just how very much he likes being a Story Tease.

ETA: Ok! New plan. We here at ERT will still technically be going on vacation post-Countdown tonight. However, I'm going to stick around until The Announcement (whenever it happens), to pass along the news. So, check back, and we'll have it for you as soon as we hear.

Edited 4:15pm by Becky: In the course of the afternoon I've read no fewer than six different sports blogs say that their "sources" say Dan Patrick's announcement is that he is leaving The Worldwide Leader, some going as far as to say he's shopping his own syndicated radio show. All rumors, remember, so take with liberal amounts of salt.

Tuesday Open Thread

On this day in 2002 three diners who had ordered the wild striped bass at Britney Spears newly opened restaurant, Nyla, suffered food poisoning. And five years later, Brit still can't catch a break.

Tucked away in the comments for Monday's Big Show recap (a post read by hundreds of people using The Google to find "dan patrick big announcement" - seems everyone is curious!) is a tip from the original Big Show recapper Maureen. Video of Keith's SportsCenter farewell is up on the Dan Patrick Show website. Awww!

And finally, an administrative note. This entire week was supposed to be summer vacation for ERT, but we couldn't very well not be around for Dan's big announcement or Keith's special comment. But after tonight's Countdown recap, we're taking off the rest of the week. Not only will we not be posting, comments will be disabled. When we say vacation, we mean vacation. We'll be back on Monday, July 9 with a big annoucement of our own!

Monday, July 2, 2007

Obstruction of Justice

Tie: Green
Worst Person: Our Commander in Chief, President George Bush, who in commuting Scooter Libby's sentence, has "...forfeited his claim to being president of anything larger than a small, privileged, elitist, undemocratic, anti-constitutional cabal."
Days since "Mission Accomplished": 1,524

As mentioned above, the President has tonight - without consulting the Department of Justice - commuted Scooter Libby's prison sentence. He has not pardoned Libby; a fine and probationary period remain levied upon the man.

John Dean thinks we can still expect to see a full pardon before Bush leaves office in January of 2009. Regarding this unbelievable turn of events, Dean can only compare it to a hypothetical, saying it's as if Nixon, on his way out of office, or Ford, on his way in, had pardoned John Ehrlichman, Bob Haldeman, or John Mitchell - forgiving their convictions following the Watergate scandal.

It is important to note, and it's brought up several times, that the president's actions this evening were well within his rights. Though no laws were broken by the president, Keith asks: "...did he break the spirit of the law?"

[By the way, following Countdown was MSNBC Live with Dan Abrams -- have all the little doggies moseyed out of Scarborough Country for good?]

Former Ambassador Joseph Wilson joined Keith earlier via phone. When asked for his reaction to the news, Wilson said: "There's nothing that this administration does that surprises us anymore; it's corrupt from top to bottom, and I think most Americans should understand that beyond a reasonable doubt now." He is, understandably, outraged.

Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald has reacted to the news, reiterating the constitutionality of the president's actions but voicing concerns about fairness, saying in his brief statement: "It is fundamental to the rule of law that all citizens stand before the bar of justice as equals."

In lighter, if not less metaphorically delicious news, this weekend the President's machine was a dud, she got stuck in the mud ... somewhere off the coast of Kennebunkport.

Australian police have arrested an eighth suspect in last week's failed U.K. terror plots. The amount of suspects in this case who are doctors or other medical personnel is truly amazing.

No Oddball tonight, and I won't spoil the "other Olbermann" story Keith teased on the radio today in case he's saving it for another night this week.

Keeping Tabs: Michael Jackson's giant laser-eyed Vegas robot = not gonna' happen.

Tonight's top story is about US Weekly's decision not to put any Paris Hilton news in its latest issue. Are the mag's efforts a day late & a dollar short? Perhaps. But Paul F. Tompkins is there to talk about it, and I like him a whole lot, so it's all good.

Stay with us Tuesday for continuing coverage of whatever Dan Patrick's "Big Announcement" is, updated as information becomes available, and also ...

Be sure to tune in tomorrow night for a Special Comment calling for the resignations of the President and the Vice President.

We'll see you then.

The Big Tease Big Show

For the amount of time Dan Patrick spent teasing tomorrow's "big announcement", he might as well have been standing on a stage swinging his tie around. Still, he has given out very little concrete details other than:

1. It will change his life, but not necessarily the listeners (the fact that this is fairly impossible for me makes it clear that my life is way too intertwined with The Big Show lately).

2. It affects Keith too, but not as much.

3. It probably is a positive thing from DP's perspective. He would not be pimping his firing, now would he?

4. He is most likely turning down the Price is Right offer to audition, so he won't be coming on down. His mother is not pleased.

5. Keith mentioned the Friday Big Show recap here at ERT. Dan asked what the blogs were saying about his big announcement, and KO cited what Gilbert said. And no, I do not own a single tin foil hat. Keith then went on to squash Gilbert's idea of a Big Show TV time when they are together. Too bad, I would have liked that.

6. More clues on Countdown tonight with Inspector Olbermann.

Does Barry Bonds belong in the All-Star game? KO says no, as he is having a bad year. Furthermore, all the other fan voted-in outfielders are wrong too. Keith says that while the game was "designed as the fans' game", the fans need more guidance. Keith actually seems to want the whole All-Star Game thing to go away, or at least the fan voting. Maybe if they gave him a Hall of Fame vote he would leave this one alone?

If KO had to call the Barry Bonds' home run record breaking moment he would use the base running victory lap to do a sponsorship message for a doctor's office.

Alex Rodreiguez's wife has poor choice in ballpark wear. Especially if you are sitting behind her. On the other hand, if you are from Patterson, NJ or Long Island, NY, Keith understands.

Dan wants to know the difference between The NY Post's front page coverage of Mrs. A-Rod's shirt vs the Daily News' non-coverage. KO suggets the size of the Altlantic Ocean.

Dan wonders why the media critics at the Post don't complain about their own paper like people at ESPN critize the mothership. KO suggests that ESPN's competion is weak and therefore critisism causes little harm. He likens it to "throwing your gum at the side of a battleship". He comes at this as quite a gum thrower himself.

Tune in tonight for Coundown, where Keith will provide more hints, show us someone else named Olbermann, and recap the Princess Di concert without actually having seen it (that should be interesting).

Monday Open Thread

On this day in 1949, in Rockaway Beach in the borough of Queens, in the city of New York, the one, the only Professor Roy Bittan was born. Roy hooked up with Bruce Springsteen's E Street Band in 1974, and his piano has been a hallmark of the E Street sound ever since.

Here's Roy and Bruce and the rest of the band in a live performance from 1978 of the greatest rock & roll song ever written. I dare you to listen to that piano riff at the end and not get it stuck in your head! (You're welcome, Stef)

Talk amongst yourselves.

Friday, June 29, 2007

"Our strength is the rule of law."

Tie:: It's almost like he knows I like this with stripes.
Segue:: "Hound Dog" by Elvis Presley.
Days Since Mission Accomplished:: 1,521
Worst Person: Satan's sweetheart, Ann Coulter, not really for what she said but the, uh, Rovian ratings math she used and the laughable suggestion that she'll pass up the chance to whip out the little black dress and make demon eyes at Chris Matthews again. Uh, media whore says "What?"(Oh, if that doesn't work, you could always get leather pants and rag on ESPN...I hear one of their guys is *really* into that.)

Lots and lots of news tonight...that'll teach me to fall behind on my recaps.But I'm hanging in here on Friday night to give you my best one-fingered summary.

5.Democrats in both the Senate and the House write anti-war legislation to shift our presence in Iraq to a non-combat role within short-term deadlines. Speaker Pelosi says they have "the support of the American people," so demonization won't hold them back this time. While I'm one of the "disaffected base" who may be won back by a show of Dem force, Jonathan Alter and this piece in the Washington Post point out just how much President Bush's fortunes have changed.

5b. Lieutenant Commander Richard Swift joins Keith to discuss the recent court decision requiring court trials for Guantanamo detainees.

4. Larry Johnson and Keith discuss the successful foiling of a rather inept "yuppie terrorist" bomb plot in London and why so many media outlets and government agencies prefer to constantly exist at "Threat Level Midnight" rather than report the whole story(an EMS worker spotted and reported a smoking...-literally- silver Mercedes.)

4b. Excellent expose, from a media standpoint, at least, on why Rupert Murdoch is even more dangerous than this guy. Although I think if Keith takes him on, his typing hand is safe(thinks) Um. Well, we know he's not your father, Mr. Olbermann. Be careful if he asks you to Cloud City...promise?(This metaphor doesn't're too smartmouthed...and, yeah, I'm gonna say it, hot, to be anybody but Han Solo. We love you. And you know it.

Oddball: Happy Birthday, Richard Lewis! That scene in Anything But Love where he convinces Jamie Lee Curtis to do stupid things at the Passover seder is still one of the funniest moments of TV I've ever seen. Seriously. It's got to be about fifteen years old and I still laugh when I think about it. Great thanks, sir.

3. People are waiting on their IPhones, including the mayor of Philadelphia. I don't get it (as if my broken links make that a big surprise.) Personally, I think if getting the same joke twenty-seven times or looking at photos of wet celebrities from the privacy of our homes was good enough for those who came before us, it's good enough for me. And nobody is gonna give me $600 to break links from an unspecified location. Are you?

2. Keeping Tabs:
Over the holidays, when I'm thinking I come from the nuttiest white folks in the world, I will,for once, have a positive thought for Britney Spears.Putting a restraining order on your mom is pretty schadenfreude-i-riffic, and not as whiny and gynecological as the junk that Paris Hilton does.

1.I literally did not understand the number one story this evening, and I'm not translating from the Kossack here, as in "I don't understand how Keith can write those beautiful Comments and then do all that fluffy cr--uh, stuff. People are dying! " No, I literally mean "Huh?!" There were pictures of puppies, Giuliani, Romney, a setter in a box, and Mo Rocca's frantic patter, but something important failed to land, humor-wise.
That's the way it was.(Aw, Dailykos, I tease because I love, right?)

The Big Show, Come on Down!

After a brief discussion about the Lakers and the NBA Draft, Dan confirms reports that he has been contacted by the Price is Right to audition to replace Bob Barker.

Dan is flattered, and is intrigued by the idea of working with Barker's Beauties. If Bob got in trouble at times with the beauties, would kind of trouble can Dan get into?

Keith, as usual, plays the role as topper, and says that while he was still a sportscaster in LA, he was asked to audition for the game show "Your Face or Mine", which looks like it was never made in the U.S. (But was in the UK for a while.)

Dan is honored that they asked him, but he hasn't auditioned yet. I doubt he will, as when he mentions the possibility of it the rest of the show, he sounds like he's in his sarcastic voice. What do you all think? Could Dan really leave ESPN for the Price is Right?

In a hopefully unrelated note, Dan says there will be a big announcement on Tuesday at 2 p.m. ET that will change lives. My prediction: The Big Show will be rebroadcast on ESPN on days Dan is NYC with Keith. Obviously, the announcement has to do with both Dan and Keith since they it comes during the Big Show. Other possibilities: Expanded Big Show hours? Or god forbid, less Big Show?

Dan jokes about being a co-hostess of The View. Keith calls Elizabeth Hasselbeck squeaky annoying. Dan then raises the possibility of Rosie O'Donnell coming to MSNBC. Keith says a Rosie show would make him look conservative.

Dan and Keith mention it's the 10th anniversary of their last Sportscenter on ESPN. Keith says his strongest memory of that was during the break before the farewell, when the producer asks Keith to shorten it to 5 seconds for a tennis score. Keith said no, and thanked a lot of people instead.

Dan: Greg Oden, the No. 1 pick of last night's NBA Draft, looks older than LeBron James.
Keith: Greg Oden looks older than Robert Parrish.

Dan lifted the seat cushion on Letterman the other night because of confetti that fell before the show.

Keith thinks 3,000 hits by Craig Biggio will be more impressive than Frank Thomas' 500 home runs, because the steroid era will diminish everyone's accomplishments. Keith points to Dale Murphy and Andre Dawson as examples if players not getting into the Hall of Fame because of not getting to milestones like 500 homers or 3,000 hits.

Greg Oden joins the Big Show in the final segment. Oden says Joakim Noah's outfit works for him. I guess Oden's right, because Noah is crazy and so is that outfit. Oden woke up about two hours ago. (It's 2:50 pm ET, and I assume he's still somewhere in that time zone, since the draft was in New York. I am by no means a morning person, but isn't a 1pm wakeup time kind of late?)

Dan and Keith then discuss franchises that were/are Mickey Mouse organizations. Keith brings up the Clippers, Lions, and the original Mets, Dan suggests Buccaneers, Cardinals, Yankees??? and Indians. All fit except for the Yankees, who may fit on this list soon if they keep having seasons like this one.

Watch Countdown tonight. Dan guarantees you'll laugh, cry, and may throw something at the screen.